I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
