I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
