Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
