dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
