Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
