trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
