How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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