I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
