She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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