how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
