He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
