Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
