the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
