hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
God I need to hump something, right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
