I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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