I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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