you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
