first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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