You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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