I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
