We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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