thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
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