Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
