That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
