everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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