Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
