I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
