so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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