he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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