SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I could fuck to npr.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize