anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
