But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
do nipples grow back?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
