Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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