Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
