Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize