you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
