I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
