Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
