ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
