she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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