Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
