So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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