i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
