remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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