just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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