just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
