I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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