A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
