Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
