your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
