I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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